What do you mean by that.
This question has qualified for us very good the video because it is one of the most important questions
that you can ask your clients as a life coach or as an aspiring life coach.
To be honest with you this is one of the most important questions that you can ask your friends your
loved ones your spouse your family members your children to preserve the trust and present prevent mess
understanding and miscommunication.
What do you mean by that.
This is the question that we're going to use when interacting with someone.
When someone says something that we that we don't understand because if someone says something and then
we jump to conclusion about what we think being mean in won't just judge them unfairly.
So the question that we ask is What do you mean by that.
No to mix this one question with another fascinating that an idea rather fascinating communication skill.
I'm going to introduce you to an idea here called it intonation right in to nation intervention.
You may have heard me throughout the course of it or now say a few times something along the lines of
It's Not What We say it's how we see what we see.
And this is where intonation starts coming into the mix.
So it's not about us life coaches us having all the answers we've already established this no.
Sometimes it's just the feedback we offer when we're reflecting back or paraphrasing sometimes it's
just a silence that we're offering people.
Intonation is how we see what we see is the way in which we ask the questions that we ask.
No.
There is an exercise that's attached to this video lecture and the additional material section I'm going
to RGA to practice this on some people and it may not necessarily be the sentence.
Practice another one and see the responses you get when you communicate one sentence or one question
in numerous different ways.
No intention is to do with placing emphasis on specific words within a sentence or a question that you're
choosing to ask someone around.
For example if I was to place emphasis on the word what in the sentence.
So yes.
What do you mean by that.
Or if I was to place emphasis on the word.
Do tell me what do you mean by that.
Or I could see.
What do you mean by that.
Or.
What do you mean.
By that.
What do you mean by that.
And do you see what I've just done here.
No this is just one example.
I just want to raise awareness of this.
There's something there's the questions that we ask people.
It's the way in which we ask these questions intonation and placing emphasis on certain words is always
going to influence how it is that other people hear what it is that we are saying.
So if we were unaware of this this is going to potentially be easy for other people to misinterpret
us all of the time.
So when we're doing our mental rehearsals in preparation for a communication or an interaction with
someone it's important that were taken into consideration also that the emphasis that we place has certain
words through intonation is going to determine what it is that other people hear.
Alright so while I would like you to do here spend five minutes print off the worksheet that you're
going to find attached in the additional material section.
See I told you the section we're going to get a bit more practical and a bit more life.
But you didn't act.
And Star just practice the exercise in front of a mirror by yourself.
No I might not have made the best example here.
What do you mean by that but how you speak in your communication style or preference is going to determine
how it is other people want to hear and interpret you know this is crucial as a life coach.
Because as we know it's all about preserving the trust as an actor are never going to get sick of seeing
this.
And you shouldn't get sick of hearing that either.
But then take five minutes conduct the exercise practice intonation and applying emphasis on different
words.
It might be the case that there's a question that you have that you want to ask someone that you know
someone that you're already in a relationship with.
It might be the case that you've asked someone a question or you have said something to someone in the
last few days that has caused a bit of tension in one or more of your relationships.
So you don't have to use the example that I've given in the work.
She can just use that example or the question or the statement that you've already made in that relationship
and apply this idea to that sentence just applied different emphasis to different words in the sentence
to hear for yourself how the very essence of the question can sound completely different just by placing
different emphasis on different words.
So when would this make sense.
Quite simple straightforward stuff.
I look forward to seeing it again in the next video.